Classified Documents
Dispatch
Is Donald Trump Scared?
At the former President’s indictment in Miami on Tuesday, it was impossible to say whether his fate was more likely to be a return to the White House—or prison.
Daily Comment
The Case Against Trump Is Strong, but There Are Problems Ahead
It gives Trump a compelling reason to persevere in his campaign, and to sow doubt about the criminal process.
Letter from Biden’s Washington
The Trump Indictment Speaks for Itself
Against the former President’s miasma of lies and disinformation, finally, a damning set of facts.
Q. & A.
The Legal Dynamics of Trump’s Second Indictment
The case, which concerns the former President’s handling of classified documents, raises complicated questions about intent and national security.
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Kari Lake Furious That No One Has Searched Her Home for Stolen Documents
The former anchorwoman claimed that she has been calling for the F.B.I. to raid her house for weeks, but to no avail.
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Trump Says DeSantis Lacks the Classified Documents Necessary to Be President
“This is what makes Ron DeSantis so dangerous, quite frankly,” he said.
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Pence Says He Hid Behind Classified Documents to Keep Women from Lusting After Him
“Whenever possible, I’d bring Mother,” he said. “But when she wasn’t available I’d hide my face behind classified documents.”
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Trump Angrily Orders Pence to Return All Classified Documents to Mar-a-Lago
“Mike Pence kept me from having a complete collection of documents, and that, quite frankly, is a disgrace,” the former President said.
Satire from The Borowitz Report
No Plans for Insurrection Found in Biden’s Garage
The lawyers revealed that they did discover plans to build a Jacuzzi and a barrel sauna on the President’s deck.
Q. & A.
The Origins of Joe Biden’s Document Mess
At the end of his Vice-Presidency, all official documents should have been transferred to the National Archives. How did some end up elsewhere?
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Trump Claims That Biden Having Classified Documents Is Worse Because He Reads
“The American people know that any documents are safe with me because I would never read even one word of them,” the former President said.
Daily Shouts
The Power of Positive Declassifying
Poof! Just like that, what was secret is now not secret, all through the power of your beautiful, enormous, manifesting mind.
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Trump Demands Special Master Be Fired and Replaced with Extra-Special Master
The former President told reporters that Judge Raymond Dearie is “asking for information like you wouldn’t believe. He’s a bad or sick guy.”
Q. & A.
Where the Trump Investigation Goes After a “Poor” Judicial Decision
A judge appointed by Trump ordered the D.O.J. to stop using the documents seized at Mar-a-Lago, pending review by a special master.
Daily Cartoon
Daily Cartoon: Tuesday, September 6th
“Before we send an innocent man to prison, shouldn’t we let him choose his own judge, bury the evidence, and set the entire system aflame?”
Daily Cartoon
Daily Cartoon: Wednesday, August 24th
After-school side hustles must adapt to the current climate.
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Tucker Carlson Calls Trump’s Theft of Nuclear Secrets Less Worrisome Than Hunter Biden’s Use of Joe’s Netflix Password
“If both of these things happened, what Hunter did was far worse,” Carlson said.
Satire from The Borowitz Report
MyPillow Customer Finds Classified Documents Inside Duvet
The customer began taping together the shredded documents and found several relating to national defense.